


This Silence is Mine

by rubylily



Category: Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi | Sunday Without God
Genre: Breathplay, Hate Sex, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:02:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubylily/pseuds/rubylily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being bound like this, being choked - it was all at Julie's request.  Hampnie had obliged, but he had also promised there would be no meaning to what he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Silence is Mine

It was possible to still desire to die in this world without true death. Julie knew that all too well.

He and Hampnie were inside an abandoned house, and Hampnie had used two of his many belts to bind Julie's wrists to the sides of the bed. Hampnie was on top of him, his naked body cold and pale, and his hands were even colder against Julie's skin.

He had tracked down Hampnie to this place for one final confrontation, and he wasn't entirely surprised things had ended up like this. He shivered as Hampnie touched his throat, and those cold hands trailed from his shoulders to his chest, teasing him with false pleasure.

"Julie, my friend…" Hampnie said, cupping Julie's face. "I need you." As he spoke those words, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Julie's.

Julie's response was to bite down. "Go to hell," he said as Hampnie jerked back, and he chose not to dwell on the irony of those words.

Hampnie only smirked. "Keep talking like that, and I'm going to think you don't want this."

Julie held back the urge to spit in Hampnie's face. "Since when do you care about what other people want? Just hurry up and choke me."

"I'm not going to kill you," Hampnie muttered in such a low voice Julie couldn't be sure he had even heard him. He put his hands around Julie's neck, but did not squeeze just yet.

Being bound like this, being choked - it was all at Julie's request. Hampnie had obliged, but he had also promised there would be no meaning to what he did.

After a moment's hesitation, Hampnie's fingers tightened around Julie's throat, and already he was hard.

His daughter had only died a few days ago, and now he was being fucked by the man he hated most, the man who had torn apart his family. He really was pathetic.

As Hampnie began grinding against him, all that escaped from Julie's throat were strained, choked moans. He could still breathe, just a little bit, but that wasn't enough for his aching lungs. The only things he was aware of were pain and arousal. It was fitting that those went together now, he thought bitterly.

Hampnie lowered his head to kiss Julie again, and he also licked away some of the saliva that trailed from his lips. With his face this close, Julie saw blotches of red against his pale skin. Arousal, or just frustration?

If Hampnie was getting off on this, he was even sicker than Julie imagined. Not that he had any right to judge.

Hampnie pressed more of his body weight on Julie's throat, cutting off his air completely. He had always been smaller and lighter than Julie, and it was just barely enough to keep Julie's body pinned to the bed. Like Julie, his breathing was rough, and there was a look in his red eyes Julie had never seen before.

As Hampnie fell into a somewhat steady rhythm, Julie's fingers balled into fists as he struggled against his bindings. His whole body begged for air and release. It had been six years since he had last had any sex, and he was far too easily aroused now. His body craved sex, but that wasn't what he wanted. He hadn't expected being choked would arouse him this much, but perhaps his body was simply that desperate. It truly would be a horrible way to die.

But he didn't deserve a painless death.

Hampnie's fingers were digging into the flesh of his throat, crushing his windpipe, and his eyes were starting to roll back. His chest burned, and his feet scrambled to find friction on these dirty sheets. How long could he go without oxygen before brain damage set in? A few minutes at the most? He couldn't remember. If he blacked out, would Hampnie release him?

He didn't want that.

"Dammit Julie, how much more can you take?" Hampnie hissed as he rocked his hips back and forth, his own erection hard against Julie's. It was a crude and almost painful way to have sex, but it was enough for Julie's desperate body.

Specks danced before his eyes as black tinted the edges of his vision, and Hampnie bent over to kiss him, his moist tongue invading Julie's dry mouth, and he gagged. He thrashed beneath Hampnie, trying to break the kiss. He didn't even have the strength left to bite.

"Julie…" Hampnie said as he straightened his back, but his fingers remained deathly tight around Julie's throat. His hands were still cold, and now they felt covered in sweat.

Julie could say nothing in response. He choked violently, and the sound of his heart pounding against his chest was sharp. His erection was almost paining him, and Hampnie's rhythm was rough and erratic. He could barely see Hampnie as his vision blurred and darkened, and his body screamed for release.

He was so close now, but he had to hold out for a just a little longer…

He came hard, and his body arched and tensed. The only noise that slipped from his lips was a choked gasp as his eyes went wide. It was just a single burst of pleasure, and it passed as quickly as it had come.

Slowly Hampnie released Julie's throat, and Julie began coughing as air invaded his lungs. His head was spinning, and he could still hear his racing heart. He felt sick, as if he was about to vomit.

Hampnie was motionless for a few moments as he simply watched Julie, and then he seized Julie's face tightly, his fingers nearly digging into the flesh, and he began kissing him once more, over and over. His lips were violent and forceful, and it was almost as if he was trying to force air down Julie's throat.

This time Julie had the strength to bite.

Hampnie pulled back, and a few drops of blood fell from his lips. "I didn't think you were so into biting," he said with a lazy grin.

"Shut up and untie me," Julie snapped, and the roughness of his voice did not surprise him.

Hampnie did so wordlessly, and once Julie was unbound he got off the bed and began to get dressed. Julie sat up and rubbed his bruised wrists, and he touched his throat, feeling the marks Hampnie's fingers had left.

Turning his back to Hampnie, Julie wiped himself with the bed sheets - this house wasn't his, it was abandoned, so what did he care? - and then collected his pants and shirt to get dressed. He did so quickly, so that Hampnie would not have to see his naked body again.

After he finished buttoning his shirt, he reached for his jacket, and his eyes fell upon his revolver and rifle. Hampnie had been unfazed when he had seen those weapons, and Julie had discarded them quite carelessly after Hampnie's first violent kiss.

Julie picked up his gun and ran his finger along the barrel. He had come here for revenge _(to find death)_ , and instead he had allowed himself to be fucked by the man who had _killed_ his wife. If he were dead, would Hampnie _(the Man-Eating Toy, an immortal monster)_ immobilize him without a second thought?

If he could not win against immortality, he would carve out his own death.

Julie turned around to aim his gun at the now fully dressed Hampnie, and he pulled back the trigger, shooting him in his shoulder.

Hampnie screamed and clutched his bleeding shoulder, and he had no time to say anything before Julie had jumped over the bed and struck him across his face with the butt of his revolver. Disorientated for a moment, Hampnie took a large hunting knife from his jacket, and he managed to seize Julie's gun and get behind him to hold the knife to his throat.

"What the hell, Julie?" Hampnie said in a low voice, and his knife hand was unsteady, likely because of his injured shoulder.

Julie said nothing, and he could feel Hampnie trembling behind him. He released his gun to free his hand, and then he jabbed his elbow into Hampnie's gut to shove him back. The knife just barely nicked his throat, drawing a little bit of blood, but at least now he was free of Hampnie's grasp. He quickly turned around and sent the side of his hand into Hampnie's throat.

Hampnie choked and dropped Julie's gun to clutch his throat. Julie then grabbed his hair to repeatedly bash his head into the wall, and blood soon covered his face as the weak wall was beginning to crack due to the continuous blows.

"You're an undying monster, so why the fuck do you care?" Julie yelled, his fingers twisted in Hampnie's hair. Blood flew from Hampnie's wounds, staining the wall. "So what if you die here? You'll just keep coming back…"

"You…" Hampnie hissed, and his eyes were narrow. He tried to slash at Julie with the knife still in his hand, but his movements were weak and slow, so Julie was able to dodge easily, even while keeping a tight hold on his hair.

Julie bashed Hampnie's face against his knee, and the sickening crack of his nose was loud. He released Hampnie's hair, and Hampnie fell to his knees, his breathing rough and ragged. His face and throat were covered in blood while his wounded shoulder still bled freely, and splinters from the wooden wall were lodged in his skin. It was an unpleasant sight.

"Man-Eating Toy…" Julie muttered, and he kicked Hampnie's chest, forcing him onto his back, and he pressed his foot on Hampnie's stomach, twisting his heel into the flesh, and he clearly heard Hampnie's ribs snapping. Hampnie screamed and coughed blood, and Julie started to repeatedly stomp on his gut.

When they had been children, Julie and Hampnie hadn't fought often, and the few times they had, Julie usually had to hold back as he had always been stronger than the sickly Hampnie. The one time he hadn't held back during a fight, Hampnie had ended up with a broken arm and his parents had severely punished him.

Even so, Hampnie had easily forgiven him.

More cries of pain escaped from Hampnie's lips as Julie continued to strike and kick him, and he tried to seize Julie's leg in vain with his free hand. His other hand still held the hunting knife, but he made no effort to slash at Julie to defend himself.

Julie gritted his teeth. "Death really means nothing to you, does it?" he said as he took his foot from Hampnie's stomach. He knelt down, straddling Hampnie's hips between his knees, and then seized his thin neck with both hands.

As Julie's fingers tightened around his throat, Hampnie struggled and thrashed beneath him, but his strength was quickly failing. Julie's eyes were fixated on Hampnie's knife, but when Hampnie released it and clawed at the hands crushing his throat, Julie had a sudden desire to simply snap his neck. It would be quicker and less painful, and yet…

He shifted so that he was pressing down on Hampnie's throat with nearly all of his body weight. Hampnie's red eyes were wide and he choked violently as his lips gaped in vain for air. His pulse was growing weaker, and his throat was cold against Julie's sweaty hands.

"Why… why do you still get to live when you want to die so badly?" Julie said, and his own breathing was strained as well. His throat still hurt, although the bleeding had stopped and the blood had already dried. "What's the point of living if all you want is death?"

Hampnie raised his shaking hands to touch Julie's face. It was only a light caress, and his hands were even colder now. Through all the blood on his face it was clear he was smiling, faint as it was.

Julie's breath caught in his throat. "I don't need your pity, Man-Eating Toy!"

His fingers tightened even more around Hampnie's throat, and eventually something cracked beneath his hands. Blood gushed from Hampnie's mouth, and his face was a grotesque shade of blue and gray. His pulse had gone silent, and he was completely unmoving.

Julie pulled his hands from Hampnie's throat, and he could clearly see the indentations his fingers had left. "Kizuna…" he breathed, and when he raised his hands to touch his face, he felt tears.

Minutes passed, and Hampnie remained dead.

As if bidden by some external force, Julie got to his feet and quickly gathered his jacket and weapons. He avoided glancing at Hampnie's broken body, and when he left the abandoned house, he felt strangely hollow inside.

_(This wasn't what he wanted, this wasn't it at all…!)_

The next time they met, in that little village in the valley, Hampnie did not remember his death at Julie's hands.


End file.
